Category Archives: Random Sports Category

Random Salary IM

me: did you know samuel dalembert’s salary this year is over $13 million
him: no way
me: about $700k less than dwayne wade
him: wow
him: that’s like 90% of haiti’s GDP
me: haha
me: haiti’s chief export is samuel dalembert
him: haha


Random Racial Harmony IM

him: so he texted me from the kings game last night
him: i told him, “just remember, the black guy on the team isn’t named kobe and you’ll be fine”
him: haha
me: HAHA
me: is there a black guy on the kings?
him: yeah
him: he’s “black”
him: but he’s from canada
me: oh wow
me: that’s not black
me: that’s dark white
him: haha
him: off black
me: haha


Random Baseball IM

him: 162 games isn’t enough… you gotta have 30 preseason games…. and spring practice before that?
me: haha
me: then the fall league
him: haha
me: and winter classic
him: don’t forget the Vernal Equinox
me: haha
me: vernal equinox sounds like an awesome pitcher who defected from cuba
him: haha


Random Oliver Miller IM

him: haha OLIVER MILLER!
him: i never understood how that guy kept getting picked up by teams
him: all he ever did was get fat
me: he was good at plugging up the lane, that’s about it
him: if by lane… you mean the toilet, then yes
him: pretty sure he got paid in cheeseburgers and milkshakes
me: haha
me: his salary was paid in mcmoney
him: haha
me: i heard he actually has a new biography out
me: oliver miller: i can haz cheezburger
him: haha


Random Michael J. Fox IM

him: a buddy of mine posted an NBA trade rumor: Carmelo Anthony for Andrew Bynum…
him: my response: michael j fox from teen wolf for chloe kardashian and a bottle of her and lamar’s new perfume will happen before this trade haha.
me: HAHA
me: i would say that’s an accurate statement
him: do you know how awesome the lakers would be if we picked up teen wolf?
him: haha
him: i think even you would become a laker fan
me: haha
me: not sure i would be a fan but i wouldn’t hate them as much as i do now
me: personally, i would rather have marty mcfly than teen wolf
him: yeah… marty couldn’t hoop though
me: he could if he had access to a hoverboard
him: his only move would be… “what the hell is that?!?”
me: haha!
me: luke walton would be the type of guy who would fall for that
him: haha


Random Football IM

him: we should do a UFL fantasy league


Random Costs IM

me: dude, i can’t believe how expensive shit is in vegas
me: i was going to get my parents tickets to the beatles show this weekend, it’s like $163/ticket
me: i could get season tickets for the clippers for $163
him: haha
him: you can get season sideline passes for the denver broncos for $150
me: haha
me: i can coach the broncos for $150
him: HAHA


Random Detlef Schrempf IM

me: speaking of early 1990’s sonics
me: band of horses has a song called detlef schrempf
him: haha
him: is it not flashy but has great fundamentals?
me: haha!
me: it’s great in the paint