Category Archives: Random Random Category

Random Updates IM

me: it’s funny, i bought that new laptop and i’m amazed how different the technology is today than when i bought my last one a few years ago
me: however, i noticed the only department not making advances is screensavers
me: pretty sure they still have the same ones as my first computer in 1994 had
me: scrolling marquee, get the hell out of here
him: haha


Random NSFW IM

me: sl_ts is really a dirty pair of consonant bookends
me: slots, slits, sluts
him: haha


Random Reading IM

me: i’m a fan of a good prologue
me: it’s the appetizer of books
him: haha
me: better than the epilogue
me: it’s like come on, i’ve already read this, what more do you have to say
him: haha
him: epilogue is basically the writer saying… so you’ve read 300 pages already, and i’m not confident you understood my point
me: haha
me: let me explain this again


Random Down Under IM

him: what do they use for currency in australia, koalas?
me: haha
me: fosters
him: barbies?
him: haha
me: fosters, australian for currency


Random Acreage IM

him: “Call Now to Get Employee Discount”
him: that’s the call to action for a LARGE ACREAGE LAND campaign
me: HAHA
me: that must be a hell of an employee discount
me: buy one plot, get one free
him: haha
me: or a nice parcel
him: haha
me: now with free eminent domain
him: haha
him: gotta love eminent domain


Random We’re Not Stoned IM

him: i like how we laugh audibly..
him: but still type in “haha”
me: haha
me: i want to make sure you know
him: don’t give me “haha”… that was clearly an “LOL”
me: it’s closed captioned
him: HAHA
me: haha


Random Forethought IM

me: dude, this chat log is the best feature ever
him: we should start a blog where we just post the stupid shit we talk about
him: could be the next lolcat
me: haha
him: instead of shit my dad says
him: it could be “i work with a moron”
me: or “idiots with careers”
him: “these guys went to college?”
me: HAHA


Random Chinese New Year IM

me: we’re both born in the year of the cock
me: sucks
me: stupid 1981
him: yeah my brother was the dragon
him: he has a cool ass tattoo of a dragon
him: what am i supposed to get?… a fucking crowing rooster on top of a post?
me: HAHA


Random Vision IM

me: question overheard = “have you seen it personally”
me: what other kind of way is there to see it?
me: impersonally?
me: i saw it vicariously through someone else
him: i saw it via “sources”
me: haha


Random Trader Joe’s IM

him: when i worked at trader joe’s, i would always ask the cougar moms if they needed help with their groceries
him: they’d say yes..
him: and all they wanted was help with their groceries
him: wtf is that
me: haha
me: you were shortchanged huh?
him: sure was
him: you think i really wanted to carry your two cases of wine
him: i thought we had something going here
me: haha