Category Archives: Random Food Category

Random Toast IM

him: ooooo new toaster
me: haha
me: i like the ‘keep me clean’ sign too
me: first of all, i give it 2 days before it looks like it’s 10 years old and second of all, it’s an inanimate object and we’re all grown adults working for a public company, the toaster does not need a 1st person sign
him: haha
me: we definitely know it was a woman who made that sign
me: no guy in the office gives a shit if the toaster is dirty
me: does it still make toast? yeah. okay, good enough for me
him: seriously- even the old one…. still toasted
him: who gives a shit if the other side didn’t work
him: sorry for the minor inconvenience of having to wait an extra minute for a toasted piece of bread
him: not like you’re using that minute lost to work
me: haha, exactly
me: well i would have closed that account today but i didn’t have my morning toast


Random Percentage IM

me: so uh
me: lunch
me: is it happening today and if so, where?
him: haha
him: i’m 76% sure lunch is going to happen
me: i like those odds
me: i’m 83% sure i do

Random Beets IM

him: how many pounds of beats do you think it will take to feed a family of 4?… about 2 i say
me: haha
me: regardless, i would say you’d need more beats by the pound per capita to feed a larger family
him: haha
me: perhaps it’s a sliding scale
him: i think california consumes more beats by the pound per capita than any other of the contiguous united states
me: i would have to agree, the aggregated demand is much larger here